I Hate But I Love You
by skysplits19
Summary: Shingyouji disappeared after highschool, he seemed to be going on fine until Misu showed up again, What will Shingyouji do?, Will Misu let disappeared Shingyouji again? or will their love for each other will go back the way it was. Another MisuxShingyouji pairing hope you enjoy!
1. Pretending

**NOTES:** Sudddenly while I was studying this came in my mind another story, i experimented a little oh I hope i won't fail I cannot describe what I feel while I am writing this, by the way I will still continue the Summer Days haven't thought of what would be the next chapter but here is my new fic MisuxShingyouji pairing, this is for all the pair's fans

**I DO NOT OWN TAKUMI-KUN NOR THE PAIR JUST THE STORY**

**this is another pairings fiction, different story, different point of view, whew! I started something without finishing the other chapter that i have I still don't have an idea for the next chapter but I will finish that as well but w/in 2-3 weeks you'll see update for "SUMMER DAYS" maybe earlier than that**

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Shingyouji, Kanemitsu a current University student in Tokyo, could never felt happier in his life he is a fulfilled college student and a part-timer in a resto-bar. But there is someone that he cannot still forget the one he decided to left 4 years ago.

He even cut all of his communications to all of his highschool friends to deliberately loss connections to him.

When he graduated college he decide to just end the relationship he had with Arata, Misu he never stated the reason why. All he remembered was when he coldly tell the older man that he never love him. A slight regret can be seen in his face but he need to tell it for the other's sake

"Thank you for waiting" Shingyouji is smiling while giving the orders of his customers.

"We need two more beers."

"Got it!" Shingyouji go inside and inform his colleague for the beers

"Shingyouji you're shift is almost over now it must be tiring"

"Yeah, I know I'll just give these to those customer over there and I'll change clothes already."

Shingyouji went outside and to give the orders and he suddenly turned and see the door opening.

"Welcome, I hope you enjoy your stay I..."

Shingyouji suddenly stopped and looked at the guy that enter the place.

He don't know if this was a nightmare or just a joke played upon on him.

"Hey long time no see" The man in shades answered.

He heard the people talking about the guy

"Who is he?"

"Such a good looking guy"

"looks like a businessman"

"Shingyouji, is that you're friend he looks so cool."

_Why is Arata-san here? How, what is he doing here?_

"Ara…"

He looks shock and just stay where he is standing. Misu smirked seeing the younger man shocked and surprised by his presence.

"It's been a while, your shift will end now right?" Misu asked the young man

"How..." He can't help but still be shocked.

"Hurry up and changed I'll wait outside" Misu coldly said to Shingyouji.

Shingyouji couldn't helped but feel shivers around his body, feel nervous thinking of a way how he can run away.

_This can't be happening to me... not now..._

"_Arata-san I can no longer be with you, now I'll be off highschool we can no longer continue this"_

"_Why?"_

"_Because this infatuation is already gone, I realized I have never loved you, and this is all just lies."_

_After that I turned and walk away leaving him in the hall, but it was for his sake I cannot let him be destroyed just because of being with me. I've gotten used to life without him these past Four Years, I even cut my communication with Hayama-san and the others so that I won't heard about him. _

_I thought I would completely forget about him. Why now? Why has he suddenly appeared._

Shingyouji can't help but just stare at his locker thinking will he go outside or stay inside. But he should not be shaken, he needs to be compose. After changing into his civilian clothes he goes outside, seeing Misu outside.

"Arata-san"

"Shingyouji, hurry up"

Inside Misu's car seems like silence is now killing

"Anou", Shingyouji breaks the silence, "where are we going?"

"Somewhere quiet, you know it's hard to talk on a place like that earlier" Misu replied without looking at his former lover.

"How do you know where I was?"

Misu just glance at Shingyouji

"I met by coincident one of your classmate Ikuta, I think that was his last name he sort of inform me by chance he saw you in University near the area. But since I was busy in work, I just decide to go in that bar lets just say I had a wild guess that you can be there since you told me before that you plan to work while studying in college once you finished highschool."

"Whats the sense of looking for me, we broke up remember?"

Shingyouji put a little smile on his face to hide his nervousness.

"You changed number, you moved out of your home, and even Hayama-san and others were not able to contact you what were you thinking"

Misu already looked pissed but he is still trying to hide it.

_That's how I wanted it, I wanted to leave Arata-san and meant not to see him again._

"I've been waiting for again to contact me but you didn't so…"

_He wanted to really see me?_

Shingyouji is torned to either be happy or maybe doubt Misu's intention seeing him again.

"Why haven't you called me?"

"I'm sorry?" Shingyouji had stated the obvious

_He must have been used being followed by me, confident I could never leave him. _

Now Misu shot a glared at him

"saying those stupid words at me just who do you think you are?"

Shingyouji does not know how to answer his question after an hour they have enetered Misu's studio.

"This is…" looking at the place Shingyouji is feeling nervous now his heart is beating faster now.

"My place, we need to sort things, why do leave me? what made you leave me, how could you leave me?"

Misu let Shingyouji sat at the sofa and goes to the kitchen to give his visitior a coffee.

"Here" Misu handed the younger man the coffee.

"Thanks , so what do you want to talk about?"

Misu seat beside Shingyouji, now the younger man can't help but distance his self it has been a long time since they met from the time he broke up with him.

"Make sure you will provide me a valid reason ore else..."

Shingyouji put a sly smile.

"Yeah, well you know my family situation, I no longer want you to be involved. After realizing that we are now both in the real world I realize I should stop this fantasy. And also University is a busy life so I also think, keeping in touch with you guys would be a little difficult."

_I hope that explanation would be enough_

Misu angrily grabbed his hand in disbelieve on what he had heard.

"That's why? that's the most invalid and senseless reason I ever heard"

"Arata-san, B-but last time I heard about you you are now doing good in your business, I usually see articles about you regarding your business, I even heard heard that the new product you had launched was a success. People did praise you for those ideas. I-I often see you in some business magazines Y-you were great you had make your family proud"

Misu smiled on what he had heard.

"So you still see me and remember me after all and you have following me after all in business news"

Shingyouji just smile and suddenly he stand up.

"Well then its about time for me to leave I have classes in the afternoon, I'm happy to see you after such a long time, you must be a busy man I hope you take care of yourself and wish you all the luck. To be honest I never thought you will look for me again, I am happy"

Misu did not like those lines, those were the lines of a person who never want to show his self again.

_I don't think so you are always a good liar Shingyouji don't you know that?_

As Shingyouji tries to move, he noticed Misu suddenly hold his hand.

"Shingyouji didn't you heard what I said?"

"Huh" Shingyouji seemed to puzzled.

Misu suddenly pulled Shingyouji and had layed him down on the floor.

"Ah!" Shingyouji feels motionless now looking into Misu's eyes

Misu looked into Shingyouji's eyes who smiles when he see the younger man's stunned look.

"I told you I was angry didn't I?

Misu suddenly kissed Shingyouji on his lips but the younger man initially tried to push his ex-lover but he feels helpless.

"Sto.." Shingyouji pleaded

"Stop? But you let me embrace and kissed you in the past, Don't tell me you are seeing someone already"

Misu now unbuttoning Shingyouji's shirt and bite him in his neck, Shingyouji don't want to be defeated by his overflowing emotions though he wants and miss Misu's kiss he needs to fight back.

"I don;t think that would be necessary for you to know"

Still trying to fight him and trying have his hands off him.

"No.. Arata-san stop it?"

Misu held Shingyouji's hand and smiled menacely.

"you may be lying in words but your body is telling me a different message"

Misu leaned again and kiss Shingyouji, down to his neck and now his torso.

Shingyouji can't look in Misu's eyes he feels the tears in his eyes, Misu held his face have him faced the elder man. Suddenly out of instinct Shingyouji put his hand around Misu. The elder man smirked and continues showering Shingyouji with kisses.

_Both my heart and my body do love him_

Misu is now asleep , Shingyouji can't believe he had slept with the man he ever loved and decide to forget. He doesn't know if how to stay from this guy away. Suddenly he felt Misu rolled over embraced him in his waist. Misu put his hand on Misu's hair and smiled.

_He never change, he still looks gentle when he sleep, he is still the guy I loved before… _

Shingyouji decide for now to sleep beside the man he only loved and decided that by tommorow before Misu wake he will be gone again in a place where Misu is not.

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**SORRY I AM TRYING TO IMPROVE THE INTIMATE SCENE I KNOW IT IS STILL BORING BUT I HOPE YOU HAD LIKED OT I AM KINDA NERVOUS WHILE TYPING THIS PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU NOTICE SOME MISTAKES JUST INFORM ME, AND THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT!**


	2. Get it right

**NOTES: **2nd Chapter of I Hate you But I love you whew! I am still expecting errors, unfortunately i do not know how to get a beta for someone to guide me

**to JUNE: **yup the story was inspired by Aishuu but the lines nope i made it my won, since the story is base for Misu and Shingyouji. The first part is the only one inspired by Aishuu since I am still weak at love scene and Intimate moment i borrow Aishuu's scenes, actually Aishuu's storyline was coincidentally one of my Pairings idea the only problem is i need like a base because whenever it was just on my mind I don't know how will i start to have Shingyouji avoid Misu. good thing my friend introduce me to Aishuu just now, but of course i still stick on my own story and put my own thoughts, the lines we're not that duplicated i do my own line... though this is fanfiction i need to stick with the pairings story.

**I do not own TAKUMI-KUN nor the pair but only the story and the idea, by the way thanks to one of the manga that help me finally unleash this story that had been my first idea in the first place.**

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It's already 9am in the morning, Shingyouji feel the sun in his eyes and rise in the bed. He glanced at the man beside him. He is torned in regretting what happened last night or feeling happy touching Misu again.

_How can i be so stupid_

As he tries to reach for his clothes, someone grabbed his arm, Shingyouji looked wide-eyed at the now awake Misu.

"You woke up early" Misu seems to be irritated again

_Leaving me again? I don't think so._

Seems like Misu is not enjoying the action of the younger man.

"I need to go home now if you please excuse me, I still have class in the afternoon"

Shingyouji seems lost of words. All he wants is to be in a place where he cannot see Arata-san. He does not want to realize how he still love the older man.

Misu move closer toward Shingyouji, still holding his hand.

"I am not giving you permission to leave this house"

Shingyouji look shocked at what Misu stated.

"Eh!"

_Arata-san are you playing with me? I know I have hurt you before but is this my payment for leaving you._

"I will never forgive your nonsense attitude, I think I am making sense here, Is it just right that the pet should always be beside his master and you shall be receiving your punishment for abandoning and betraying your own master"

Misu, gave Shingyouji a smirked he is now dressing up and even throw Shingyouji his clothes, and told him to dress up as well.

"Hold on I never agree to move in with and why should I move in with you? Master? Pet? haven't you forgot we're through. I am sorry I end all communication with you I was just really busy, can we just be friends? Like the way we are?"

_This is not going anywhere what is he thinking to do to me. Is this how much you hate me?_

"Are you sure about that?" Misu's grin became more obvious

"When did I agree about it, I told you back in Shidou you belong to me remember? You are my possession"

Misu knows how to play this game, he really had no intentions of letting the younger man go, Shingyouji feel speechless, he don't know how to react upon Misu's words.

Misu walked towards the door to go out but before who leave he turned towards Shingyouji.

"If I were you just listen to me"

Misu slammed the door and Shingyouji was left clenching his fist. He feels like all the efforts he had done to forget Misu we're all gone. Feels like this is a repeat back in Shidou, he who is always behind Misu, can't be able to let him go.

_I so hate him..._

Shingyouji decides to leave and return to his home, he don't know what to do, maybe he can file a long leave then stay at his grandma's place or to his auntie, but Misu knows about those places. As he feels like confuse of what to do someone knocks on his apartment.

"Hai!"

Shingyouji opened the door and see a guy in a suit with glasses. This guy bowed on him.

"Mr. Shingyouji, I am Tomoki-san, Sachou's secretary, I was ask by Misu-Sachou to help you out pack your things and he also wants to inform you that effective today you will no longer work on that resto-bar."

Shingyouji gasped at what the guy had told, not work but how can he be able to support his studies.

"W-wait, first and foremost I did not agreed to stay there and second how did you know my place? And last who told you I will be quitting my job, without that job I cannot be able to continue my school! You know what get out right now!" Shigyouji push the man outside his apartment and slammed the door.

At the University Shingyouji can't help but think about what happened, seem like this year is filled with unexpected and bad luck.

_Four Years, though I hated him, after all this time I still love him but, I know I am right leaving him in the first place._

"Hey Shingyouji! Are you ok?" It was Akano, Masato his college friend

"Yes I am maybe I am just stressed out with exams and all, hey by the way these are the notes you need in Literature, just make sure to return it to me tommorow ok?"

"I've been asking like for almost a year I was just thinking how about lets have some drink just the two of us."

_I was aware that Akano liked me, I turned him down before because I cannot forget Arata-san but if this is the only way for me to Arata-san stop persuading me… perhaps…_

"Sure, not a problem I no longer have work so maybe we can hang out"

"Eh? For real? You'll have a drink with me? All right! Is this fun we'll drink together, just the two of us" Akano can't help but feel happy

_I should start in forgetting you again, Arata-san if this will make you stay away from me . I should find someone new. Someone who will told me he loves me and will ask me "Do you love me?" Someone that is completely you opposite._

Shingyouji, trying to be happy while walking with his classmate but a sight had distracted him

"Arata-san"

Misu walk towards them he looked at Shingyouji and his glared focus on the guy that is with Shingyouji.

_I did not like this guy, seems like this guy wants to have Shingyouji as well. Don't get your hopes up._

"Didn't I told you to pack your things and why did you slammed the door on my secretary?"

Shingyouji, looks startled, he never thought he was really serious big time on letting him moved with him.

"Shingyouji who's he? An acquaintance?" Akano curiously asked Shingyouji

"A former sempai of mine, in high school Arata-Misu"

"Misu? The one we always see on those business magazines?"

Misu, does not enjoy the presence of this guy so made something so that it would caught the younger man's attention.

"Sorry but I have business with Shingyouji, so I will be taking him" grabbing Shingyouji close to him

Akano seems shocked on what he, now he does not like the elder man on how he treated his friend/crush.

"Hey! Who are you to just do that to him? I don't care who you are or how known you are, you can't do that to my friend"

Misu walk towards Akano still wearing that deadly glare. Shingyouji knowing Misu well goes between them.

"Akano, I am sorry I will go with him"

Shingyouji apologize to his friend, Misu held the younger man and enter the car, and he slammed the door leaving Akano on the streets.

As he entered Misu's place he saw his stuff already in his place.

"How"

"My secretary informed your landlord about you leaving forging an authorization letter he was able to get into the place. About your job I don't think that would suit you, starting tomorrow you will work on my company"

Shingyouji is shocked work for Misu? But what work? Now he will always see him this too much for him.

"Arata-san! Lets stop this, what part did you not understand, I left you because it was the right thing to do, everything should have been fine why did you just suddenly appear? And now you are controlling my life"

"**THEN ANSWER ME! WHATS THE REAL REASON?"**

Misu pushed Shingyouji the wall cornering him, waiting for an answer.

"Shingyouji, do you know how hurt I was? Being selfish deciding without me agreeing, up until when are you going to be stubborn with me?"

"Arata-san, I was afraid that you might leave me first, I..I was afraid you will dump me once we are both in college, I was so afraid that things could change between us, so afraid of being hurt more I decided to end it and be far from you, you never said you love me, how can I be certain you really did feel the same way, that I am not just an object that you like owning I love you, It will always be you no matter how hard I tried getting over you"

Shingyouji stated this without, shedding a tears and look Misu straight in his eyes.

Misu seems to be shocked with Shingyouji's words he don't know what to respond, or answer to provide the younger guy.

"I haven't said those words to anyone even you, It never meant anything when other people said that to me, but you said those words I feel a different reaction I don't know what that was, you never complained about it when we are in highschool I thought that was okay for you but I thought you will always be by my side."

"Do you know how painful being at your side, yes I am always happy it will always be a wonderful memory but it still hurts I feel like I was on a one-sided stupid love."

Shingyouji really did try not to cry but a a little tear is visible on the side of his eyes. He can't believe he had said it all to Misu.

Misu lowered his head and suddenly his hands are now on Shingyouji's head

"I never thought you would abandon me, I don't feel like doing anything, I-I think I can't probably be able to go on without you"

Misu is now breaking down in front of the younger man, Shingyouji can't believe seeing the elder man like this. Misu held tightly at Shingyouji's shirt.

"Arata-san" Shingyouji smile and pat him on his back

"Okay I won't disappear again, I am sorry I hope we can still bring back those times we had wasted"

Misu was able to go back to his composure and he leaned to kissed Shingyouji.

"We will Shingyouji, however who was that guy, reject him if he will confess to you"

Shingyouji gasped and and chuckle at Misu's attitude.

"Arata-san Sukidesu"

Misu smirked and kissed him in the forehead

"I'll always love the sound of it"

They both spend the night with more passion and love. Shingyouji feels happy even that is the thing Misu can reply. Now he no longer need to feel afraid. He is now ready to take risk.

_For you, there'll be no more cryin'_ _for you, the sun will be shinin'_ _and I feel that when I'm with you,_ _it's alright, I know it's right._ _to you, I'll give the world_ _to you, I'll never be cold_ _'cause I feel that when I'm with you,_ _it's alright, I know it's right._ _and the songbirds are singing_ _like they know the score_  
_and I love you..._

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_**still seeing error oh well last lines is from the song "SONGBIRD" by Fletwood Mac**  
_

_**hope you like it xoxo**_


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